Making Amends

Making Amends by Trevor Thompson, Director of Pastoral Ministries
25th Sunday of Ordinary Time

I still clearly recall the first time my mother and father met seven years after their short, rocky marriage and divorce, and my father’s subsequent journey to sobriety.  As I skipped flat stones on the surface of Lake James in a northern Indiana state park, my father and mother walked along the lower basin and somehow found the space to make amends with each other.  I don’t exactly know what was said between them that afternoon, but as my mother and father went their separate ways, I knew that something that was fractured felt put back together, a debt had been let go, a battle ended.  It felt freer to be their son.      

Today’s lectionary readings turn our attention to this liberating power of forgiveness and reconciliation we are called to as Christians.  The Church has a long history of being a place where people find this healing.  Through the Sacrament of reconciliation, the Church offers the healing touch of God, and as we continue to find strength and courage in God’s love and mercy, we too offer this love and mercy to others.  But living this out in our lives is not easy.  Our grudges seem to give us a sense of security, and it’s so difficult to let go of the tit for tat accounting, even with those closest to us.  So too, our own past failures frequently leave us questioning our own worth and God’s love.  Whether by confrontation or by running away, we seem to find a myriad of ways to avoid entering the forgiving and reconciling space to which Christ calls us.

I want to highlight a couple ways we might find the space and the strength to be a people who make amends.  First, I want to point to Stephen Ministry.  If you need to talk to someone about a grudge or an open wound, Stephen Ministry provides trained pastoral ministers for one-on-one conversation and emotional and spiritual support.  Through empathetic listening, prayerful support, and offering other resources and referrals as needed, many have found Stephen Ministers to be immensely helpful through some turbulent and transitional moments of their lives, especially times where we are in grief, in doubt, and when needing to make amends.  If you would like to meet with a trained Stephen Minister, please contact me at 919-847-8205×270.  Also, I’d like to highlight the next Project Rachel Retreat.  This “Healing After Abortion” retreat is for men and women who have experienced the wound of abortion and are looking for God’s love, healing and reconciliation in a supportive and confidential environment.  From October 21, 2011 to October 23 at the Short Journey Retreat Center in Smithfield, NC, this is another beautiful opportunity to make amends.  For more information, contact Project Rachel directly at projectrachel@nc.rr.com or 919-852-1021.  Also see brochures in the Stewardship Center.  God longs for us to be free and to free others in Christ; yes, making amends seventy-seven times.

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Birthing and Labor Companions

by Trevor Thompson
Director of Pastoral Ministries

Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

With our due date of July 10th, my wife and I are expecting our third child any day.  As we anticipate this birth, I’m particularly struck by the image of “birthing” from the Second Reading—Paul to the Romans.  Here, Paul uses the imagery of birthing to describe the way that we (and all of creation) are in the process of being made whole in Christ.  Paul seems especially attracted to this image because he understands the seemingly futile “sufferings of this present time” are like the “labor pains” of a birthing woman, something to patiently endure but nothing compared to glorious experience of new birth.  We all know that life’s labor pains are real, and I imagine we can all talk about our respective “birth stories,” how we have endured childbirth, sickness, loss of a loved one, a marital affair, the loss of a job, another day balancing work and parenting, and on and on.  For many of us, like Paul, our birthing includes much groaning, especially as our spirits have been pressed to the brink through fear, doubt, and exhaustion.  And then, somehow, just when we are ready to give up, through the grace of God, we pass through these pains and are made whole in God’s love.  Nowadays we have all kinds of therapeutic and pharmaceutical means to quicken and decrease labor pains.  Paul’s approach to birthing, however, seems rooted in a different kind of prescription.  Paul seems to see himself as a kind of labor companion, someone like a doula, who, through frequent visits and letters, provides encouragement to the early Christians.  Drawing on his own knowledge and experience of how difficult life’s labor pains can be, he reassures the one giving birth that indeed there is glory coming no matter how intense the pain clouds the vision. 

In thinking about this metaphor of birthing, I’m particularly struck by how important supportive labor companions are.  Curiously, statistics show that having a labor doula results in less need for major labor intervention.  Even in hospital births, there are fewer invasive deliveries, fewer cesareans, and fewer requests for pain medication when a doula is present.  In other words, there’s something about the presence of a supportive, comforting, and empathizing person that allows for a smoother journey through the pains of labor.  I’m sure we can all share anecdotal stories that corroborate this scientific research.  No matter how much medical or pharmaceutical intervention we might need, it seems clear to me that we need these supportive and empathizing labor companions to traverse life’s struggles.  

Whether reaching out to others in one of our Family Life ministries, like Men’s Ministry or the Senior Club, or making an appointment to talk with a Stephen Minister, or getting involved in one of our service ministries, our church and its ministries are prime places where we might find these “labor companions.” as we are all being born anew and made whole in Christ.

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Finding PEACE through Stephen Ministry

By Richard Hammer, Ministry Leader of Stephen Ministry 

Since I am a retired master’s level rehabilitation counselor, I am happy to draw on my thirty years experience as I function in my role as a volunteer Stephen Ministry Leader with the Catholic Community of St. Francis of Assisi.  Also, I personally have benefitted from being a Stephen Ministry care receiver and a client in both individual and group counseling sessions during my life.  Through my life’s work and this emotional and spiritual care, I have gained self-forgiveness, acceptance and improved coping. 

During these past five years of participating in confidential Stephen ministry peer supervision, I have observed how both male and female care receivers unpack their burdens with their Stephen minister.  I have found that any initial reluctance care receivers have about sharing a current burden in a confidential, active listening type relationship quickly changes from anxiety to comfort and trust.  The care receiver often re-arranges their coping behaviors with a renewed sense of hope and self confidence and peace.  Some of our care receivers are also helped while they work through the implications of their burdens in light of their faith through the supportive listening of a Stephen Minister.

I often find the writings of Franciscan priest Richard Rohr, OFM to be relevant and helpful with my own growth issues and in regard to the work of Stephen Ministry.  Rohr comments in On the Threshold of Transformation: Daily Meditations for Men on healing, forgiveness, and peace – all things that care receivers often experience through this important one-on-one ministry:

“Therapy, pastoral counseling, men’s work, contemplative prayer, spiritual direction, and volunteer work are all ways to forgive and heal within ourselves the hatred, anger, long-suppressed disappointments, and broken dreams we’ve carried for far too long.  Then we will no longer need to project our pain onto the world.  Then we can be at peace.  Really!”

We all long for peace, and we often need a caring Christian friend who will walk alongside us with emotional and spiritual care during difficult times.  Through empathetic listening, prayerful support, and offering other resources and referrals as needed, Stephen Ministers are a vital part of the Christ-like care and wellness of our community providing this caring Christian friendship. 

If you would like to meet with a Stephen Ministry leader or become a Stephen Leader, please contact Jackie Adamo, Administrative Specialist for Pastoral Ministries, at 847-8205, ext. 268

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